You’re Not Doing It Wrong — You’re Just Parenting a Different Kind of Child

(How Human Design reveals there’s no one-size-fits-all parenting)

If you’ve ever lain awake at night wondering if you messed up again — raised your voice, handled it wrong, missed the mark — I see you. I’ve been there too.

I’m a parent of two very different boys. And I’ve seen plenty of moms in mom groups who love their kids deeply but feel lost, overwhelmed, and even ashamed at how hard parenting can be. Especially when nothing seems to “work.”

Here’s what I’ve learned — the hard way and the heart-led way:

You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just parenting a different kind of child.

Our Kids Aren’t Broken — The System Is

So much of the parenting advice out there assumes that all kids are the same. That there’s a “right” way to raise them. That good parenting leads to calm, obedient children, and if your child isn’t that… well, you must be doing it wrong.

But what if your child isn’t a problem to solve?

What if they’re just not designed to follow the rules that weren’t written for them in the first place?

That’s what Human Design showed me — and it changed everything about how I see my kids and myself.

As you can see, the charts for each of my boys are very different.

Human Design: A New Lens on Parenting

Human Design offers a map of your child’s natural energy — how they process the world, what kind of guidance they actually respond to, and what helps them feel safe and seen.

For example, my son Reed is a Generator with a triple split definition. He needs space and movement — time to connect all the different parts of himself. When I tried to get him to "focus" or follow one set structure, it backfired. He wasn’t being difficult — he was being himself.

Reed is also a 2/5 Profile, which gives him a magnetic quality and natural talents that draw people in — especially people seeking answers. But he’s not here to live for others' expectations. He needs room to retreat, follow his rhythm, and come to his own conclusions. His Right Angle Cross of Consciousness means he’s here to explore life’s deeper patterns and bring truth and insight into the world — but only when he feels safe, included, and fully himself.

My other son, Colin, is a Projector with Splenic Authority. He’s incredibly perceptive and intuitive, but easily overwhelmed when he isn’t invited in. He doesn’t respond well to pressure — he needs to be recognized and included, not rushed or pushed.

Two kids. Two totally different designs. And the biggest parenting mistake I made early on? Trying to treat them the same.

Colin is a Projector with Splenic Authority and Single Definition. He’s incredibly intuitive and perceptive, often sensing things before anyone else does. He doesn’t respond well to being rushed or pushed. He needs to be invited in, recognized for his insights, and allowed to follow his own timing. As a 3/6 Profile, Colin is wired to learn through trial and error, especially early in life — and his long-term wisdom will come from those lived experiences. He’s not meant to hustle. He’s here to guide others with gentle, earned clarity.

When I tried to parent them the same — using the same bedtime routines, the same consequences, or the same encouragement — everything got harder. The biggest parenting mistake I made early on? Trying to treat them the same.

This difference shows up even in small but impactful daily moments — like bedtime.

As a Generator, Reed needs to wear himself out and fall into bed exhausted. Trying to “wind him down” too early usually backfires. Meanwhile, Colin needs a long decompression window — 30 minutes or more of quiet time, reading, listening to an audiobook, or watching something calm. Even though I try to limit electronics, I found myself letting Colin watch a quiet video or listen to an audiobook at night. Reed wanted to do the same. At first, I fought it — thinking I had to stay consistent. But when I let Reed do it after he’s already tired, he usually falls asleep quickly anyway. It turns out, when I trust their design, the conflict eases.

Your Child Doesn’t Need Fixing — They Need Understanding

A child who resists structure may not be “defiant” — they might be here to live spontaneously, with moment-by-moment responsiveness. A child who takes time to decide might not be “indecisive” — they may simply be designed to process slowly and deeply. A child who challenges authority may not be “disrespectful” — they may be here to shift old systems and push for truth.

Human Design doesn’t excuse behavior — but it explains what’s underneath it. And when we understand the design behind the behavior, we stop reacting and start responding — with clarity, compassion, and grounded authority.

You Can Be the Leader Without Losing the Relationship

Learning your child’s Human Design doesn’t mean letting them run the show. It means knowing how to guide them in a way they can actually receive.

It means building trust — not just obedience. It means creating safety — not control. It means parenting from connection, not comparison.

And the beauty is: it starts with you. Understanding your own design gives you permission to stop trying to parent like anyone else. You get to lead from your own inner authority — not from fear, pressure, or outdated conditioning.

You’re Not Alone — And You’re More Than Enough

We’re parenting in times that no generation before us has faced. Old methods are crumbling. New paradigms are emerging. It’s no wonder so many of us feel lost.

But here’s the truth I come back to, again and again — for myself and for every parent I work with:

You’re not broken. Your child isn’t broken. You’re just walking a different path. And you’re not walking it alone.

If this resonates, I’d love to help you learn more about your child’s Human Design — and your own. I am here to give you real tools, grounded support, and the kind of self-trust that brings your family back into alignment.

You were never meant to do this perfectly. You were meant to do this with love, curiosity, and courage.

And that? You’re already doing beautifully.

Would you like help understanding your child’s Human Design?

I offer free consultations, and resources like my parenting guide to help you get started. You don’t have to do this alone — and you were never meant to. Get your and/or your child(ren)'s chart for FREE.